tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post1762230409770159437..comments2024-03-06T05:16:16.411-05:00Comments on car on the hill: MeFrances Kuffelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14928021465309402200noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-70189325590734394802008-09-24T13:53:00.000-04:002008-09-24T13:53:00.000-04:00The other folks here have already said everything ...The other folks here have already said everything I'd say, so I'll just say I wish I could give you a hug, or at least sit down and share a cup of tea and a smile with you.Caffeinatedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17605413891826037396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-51188631050972997142008-09-24T12:54:00.000-04:002008-09-24T12:54:00.000-04:00When I get in your state of mind I remind myself t...When I get in your state of mind I remind myself that the world will continue to revolve long after I'm gone. Each person is on this earth for a reason and to follow their own path. I'm no good to anyone if I'm not healthy and taking care of myself. Codependency is feeling self-worth from the perception of another's need of you. One can get very, very tired taking care of the world. and guilt is very wearing as well. Let it go. Your parents want you in their lives, of course, but does that work for you? Sometimes the toughest love we need to practice is guarding our own lives and being able to live with our decisions.Annimalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04233605999970633293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-73260384560596625232008-09-23T16:25:00.000-04:002008-09-23T16:25:00.000-04:00I often notice that I get sick when I've been just...I often notice that I get sick when I've been just completely POOPED in every way (physically, emotionally, spiritually)...I truly believe our systems are more weak then...and our systems need a break so we get sick. This has happened to me the last week and I did manage to just LIE DOWN for a day or two. My throat thing hasn't gone away yet, so I'm thinking I need more REST. You do too...hope you are taking this chance to get it!Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07856254838049366414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-20050250951877840302008-09-23T15:39:00.000-04:002008-09-23T15:39:00.000-04:00I love Bea's oxegen mask analogy!! It is so true. ...I love Bea's oxegen mask analogy!! It is so true. I could relate to this post. It reminded me of me this past winter and spring. I wound up very sick, too. When I am depressed my hair seems like a giant hurdle to overcome in the morning or whatever time of day I decide I have to leave the house. If I can just get my hair untangled I feel I can get through the rest of the next few hours of the day. It's like the teeth brushing, etc. it seems like an amazing accomplishment. Hope you get rested and feel better soon!!Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06400492104098347769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-32214559351360165702008-09-23T09:45:00.000-04:002008-09-23T09:45:00.000-04:00I'm coming late to the blog but you do sound deple...I'm coming late to the blog but you do sound depleted and I agree with what Bea said.<BR/><BR/>This may sound strange but since you met Pam through the Rooms, is it possible for some other people to help you manage her care? (Note, I'm saying help you -- not to put Pam in their hands. I think you would be a great advocate for her.) <BR/><BR/>Also, many hospitals have a social worker/advocate but I also know from experience, these people may be overworked to the bones too. But they may be able to help you with resources. <BR/><BR/>You sound tired and worn out. As annoying as it is to be around someone who is quite capable of compartmentalizing things at times, I do see that it's not necessarily a bad thing either. Take care of yourself and Miss Daisy. <BR/><BR/>Hugs...Lori G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02167055316077502640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-23915970310991653172008-09-23T06:18:00.000-04:002008-09-23T06:18:00.000-04:00brushing one's teeth and taking a shower AND REMEM...brushing one's teeth and taking a shower AND REMEMBER THE EAR-RINGS!!!Vickiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05452333714845476967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-43830431935003235882008-09-22T18:00:00.000-04:002008-09-22T18:00:00.000-04:00Set prioities. One of the most awful classes I to...Set prioities. One of the most awful classes I took in nursing school was (simulation) triage. Triage is about deciding who you are going to help knowing full well that the ones you do not help will die. Was an agonizing class for me. I tried to help everybody. In trying to help everybody I did not effectively help anybody, and they all died. I flunked the class.<BR/><BR/>Life is like an oxygen mask demo on an airplane. If we don't take care (sleep, good food, relaxation, exercise, spiritual practice, fun) of ourselves FIRST then we are not able to really take care of anyone else.<BR/><BR/>The above philosophy goes against every scrap of Christian teaching (as I have understood them) ever taught to me. It also goes against the my compassionate heart. But I believe it is accurate.<BR/><BR/>Just a word in your ear Dear Heart, at this moment you may not be able to offer the kind of care you desire for your Mom, Dad, dogs and Pam. <BR/><BR/>I guess if I were in your shoes I would ask God to make evident to me the loved one whom I was currently the most capable of helping, and how to help. And I would start there. hugsBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15972291927652716856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-90206510002387798282008-09-22T16:19:00.000-04:002008-09-22T16:19:00.000-04:00How wonderful you brushed your teeth - I say a sma...How wonderful you brushed your teeth - I say a small prayer of celebration for you! I know what a victory brushed teeth or hair can be...<BR/>Take care<BR/>LynnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-77160332545639514332008-09-22T10:59:00.000-04:002008-09-22T10:59:00.000-04:00You don't sound whiny to me, you sound incredibly ...You don't sound whiny to me, you sound incredibly depleted. <BR/><BR/>When I lived in another state, I became a member of the Emergency Response Team in case of hurricanes, etc. We were taught that our first (and sometimes only) obligation is to ourselves. Then, if we have resources left over AND we want to give them, we can give to those nearest to us, then if we still have resources left over AND we want to give them, to all others. Resources include physical, mental and emotional health in addition to supplies and medical assistance.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes I put myself in a box where if I fulfill others' needs I feel crashed out and resentful but if I don't I feel guilty. Why are those the only two choices?<BR/><BR/>For me, there is something so valuable in seeing the connection between ignoring myself and then soothing the pain of being ignored by eating. It feels like a cycle I go through a lot.<BR/><BR/>Chronic illness is helping me to break free of all that -- I just don't have the resources to help much anymore and if I don't focus on my own needs I will become dangereously ill.<BR/><BR/>I hope that the combination of beginning abstinence again and your cold will help you to take a step back on behalf of yourself.<BR/><BR/>It sounds corny to say, but you deserve to be taken care of by you more than anyone else.<BR/><BR/>Regards,<BR/>DebraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-10404552954836395942008-09-21T20:26:00.000-04:002008-09-21T20:26:00.000-04:00You don't sound whiny but you seem like someone wh...You don't sound whiny but you seem like someone who is in desperate need of some support and self-care. The other people who have you on call should not only take backseat to Pam, they should take backseat to you too. Sorry if that sounds advicey, but you can't manage everyone else at the expense of your own self, or you won't be there for anyone when they really need you.<BR/><BR/>Love you, hope that you find some time for you this week.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02700614225224691712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15680498.post-11013699239939937592008-09-21T17:32:00.000-04:002008-09-21T17:32:00.000-04:00((( hugs ))) Congrats on brushing your teeth and w...((( hugs ))) Congrats on brushing your teeth and writing a blog, which reaches out and connects you with Us.<BR/><BR/>I know this was hard to write, and it was hard to see how much you're hurting. We only have so much energy and time and it's enormously stressful when there are real reasons to be pulled in many directions at once.<BR/><BR/>My guess is that your cold started with excess pollen and allergy things, as is true with most people I know. Get yourself as much rest as possible - pushing fluids, blah blah. You know the drill. For YOURSELF, not for Pam or the dogs or your parents. First we have to take care of ourselves, even if that means hanging on by fingernails to do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com